Random WEIRD Things

Would you pee into this?
Virgin Atlantic Airways recently had plans to install two of these new urinals, designed in the Netherlands, in one of their JFK Executive Club Restrooms, until (not surprisingly) a group of people up in arms over the "insult to women" had their say. I don't think it's insulting--just weird. Who thought this up? Anyway, they will not be installed in JFK, but the company claims orders are through the roof since the controversy began, and you will be able to find these in bars, clubs, and restaurants before long. Weird. But here's what I think the offended parties should be "up in arms" about: Where's the funny design for those of us who can't pee standing up?



Have to have it? Here's where you can get one for your house:
Bathroom Mania

More Weird Stuff:
The following weird things were all apparently offered up for auction somewhere or other. Take a look for yourself.


This is a velvet painting of what appears to be Jesus Christ and an eighteen wheeler. The item description inexplicably read "BLACK VELVET PAINTING GOD BLESS OUR TRUCKERS".
Half-poodle, half-duck, this is a lovingly handcrafted Pooduck that your children will enjoy for minutes.

I'm not even sure what this is, really, except for WEIRD. I have to ask, though: Would you buy this for any child that you know? Imagine opening this on Christmas morning...

Reminds me of the Christmas toys on Nightmare Before Christmas, except it's REAL. A Tim Burton design, maybe?






Dead, preserved frog golf desk accessory/ statue.

Seller quote - "Looks like he is about to get a hole in one."



The description of this item was "Budda Monkey LUAU Girl with HULA SKIRT crazy."

Is it a girl? A monkey? A coconut? YES! It's ALL THREE!

Seller quote - "Only the most confident of women can wear RED lipstick that well."

Have to have it? You can find these and other weird things offered up for auction here:Disturbing Auctions

Blast from the Past

So, R and I were having n interesting debate the other day prompted by one of the little sayings that you seem to have all your life and you never think about (ie, "My name is Simon and I like to do drawrings [sic]...") So just when did this show air and was it it's very own show (claimed by R) or was it part of another show (claimed by myself?) Here's the info I found online:

Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings was produced in the early 1970s by FilmFair London Productions. It concerned the adventures of a small boy who had a magic blackboard in his bedroom. It was magical for one reason only - whatever Simon drew on his blackboard would appear in Chalk Drawing Land. Only Simon knew of this special place and only he could create the drawings for it. Many children have seen Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings on a program called Captain Kangaroo. I do not believe Captain Kangaroo and the Electric Company was
actually seen on UK television as Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings had his own five or so minute slot on childrens television around tea time.

Chalk Drawing Land was found just over the fence which Simon normally
entered by climbing a ladder. Occasionally the characters of Chalk Drawing Land would wait to meet Simon on the fence itself. Once on top of the fence, Simon was transported to the fantasy world of which everything was a chalk drawing except Simon.

So, it appears that us late-twentysomething and early-thirtysomething Americans saw it on either The Electric Company or Captain Kangaroo. (I was independently thinking The Electric Company before I found this info, so I'm gonna stick with that, although I'll admit to watching Captain Kangaroo, so that's a possibility, too.) Does anyone who remembers this lovely show (and I know some of you do,) remember where you saw it?

Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings Song

Neat. I just love the little opening ditty. So catchy!

Take me home...country roads...

Hooray! I'm back in the good old US of A, and very happy to be so, despite being jetlagged and tired and greasy-feeling. To celebrate my repatriated state, I'm offering ya'll up this quiz celebrating the diversity of American English as we know it. (YAY! No more parlez-vous frenchy-french!)

Here's my American English profile:

Heather's Linguistic Profile::

65% General American English

15% Dixie

10% Upper Midwestern

5% Yankee

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Parlez-vous anglais?

Quick update of some interesting things that have gone down since my last post:

1. Had some EXCELLENT Lebanese food last night. (Merci to my very friendly and capable Lebanese taxi driver from the other night!)

2. Was moderately enraged by 10:30 AM by the numerous snotty and degrading comments over the previous 2+ days about American medicine and Americans in general from self-important Canadian doctors.

3. Was even more enraged by the constant avoiding/snubbing I was treated to by the all-Canadian staff, faculty, and attendees at the conference over the last 2+ days.

4. Was able to learn tons from two presentations given by Colonel Magill, FACP, US Marine Corps, Walter Reed Army Medical Center (some of my colleagues will remember him as the presenter of the excellent audioconference we went to on Leishmaniasis.)

5. Was saved from moderately enraged state by the afternoon arrival of aforementioned Colonel Magill, FACP, USMC, who provided more useful, well-informed, well-researched info in 30 minutes than the Canadians had managed in the previous 3 hours.

6. Talked to (actually he talked to me, mostly) some exceptionally weird guy from Ottawa while having a smoke outside during a break.

7. Talked to another taxi driver from Haiti who was very cool and friendly and even taught me some mediocre French.

Lessons I Learned in Montreal:

1. The French-Canadian dislike Americans as much as the REAL French (well, maybe almost as much.)

2. Cab drivers in big cities (despite not being native to the city) know the best places to go and/or eat at (and in this case are the friendliest people in the city--maybe BECAUSE they're not native??)

3. Americans kick ass. (That's why the Canadians hate us so much.)

4. People from Ottawa are weird.

Je ne parle pas francais...

Well, here I am in Montreal. Thanks to all of the new technology we've come to know and love, I can update you all on my trip so far right from my very hotel room! Yay wireless!

So, the flights were good, but there was a bit of a sour note on my first night here due to the fact that this VERY nice (AKA: expensive) hotel (Omni Mont-Royal) had over-booked (?) themselves, and regretfully the only room they had for me was actually a parlor room of a suite (that had now been divided up into 3 separate rooms for 3 separate guests) which had a Murphy bed (AKA: small, single bed that folds up into the wall.) Actually, I'm giving them much too much credit, because they didn't tell me this at all; they simply sent me on up to the room and left it for me to discover the situation (AKA: find the bed.)

What???

Yes. That's what I said. So when I make my way back down the 22 stories to the front desk, there's only one poor girl (who's also new) left there. (What happened to everyone else?) I did not yell, but simply said, "No, this won't do." And she explains she doesn't know what to do, and why would the manager leave her in this

situation, she's having to turn the other guests still to check in away, etc, etc.--all in a terribly charming French-accented sweet little voice. Okay. I won't yell. I proceed back up 22 stories to fire up the "what would I do without it" laptop and cell phone, and ascertain for myself that there aren't any rooms available for the next 4 nights anywhere within walking distance to the Mont-Royal Centre (where the blood-curdlingly exciting Tropical Medicine and Disease Conference is being held.)

At this point, I'm tired and exasperated, and I just pause and ask myself B's favorite refrain: "What would Charlie Mayo do?"

Well, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't freak, and I'm pretty sure he stayed some questionable places in his travels, so I decide this: "I've never slept (or for that matter even seen in real life) a bed that pulls out of the wall, so it's kind of like an adventure, right? And adventures are fun, right?" So I pulled the bed out of the wall, and I went to bed.

And it wasn't really so bad.

The next day I wait until lunch break, (thinking checkout time is noon, right?) and walk right up to Mr. Snotty and say, "I'm in 2211, and I'm ready for you to move me to a room with a real bed now." And he says his snotty comments, which I'm pretty sure meant "I'm so Frenchy-French and you are not..." or somthing like that, and which I choose to ignore (usually a wise choice when you can't understand EXACTLY what's being said,) and then he moves me to a real room with a real bed. Just like that. Easy enough.

So, I'm very proud of this because I never yelled, freaked, cried, fretted, lost sleep, nor let myself be consigned to the tiny-bed-from-the-wall for four consecutive nights.

Moral of the story: When in a seemingly impossible jam, stop and ask yourself, "What would Charlie Mayo do?" It actually might help.

So, anyway. That's done.

Yesterday afternoon/evening I headed off to the Le Jardins botanique de Montreal (or the Montreal Botanical Garden for you non-French-speakers out there :). It was FANtastic! So glad I went. I thoroughly, completely enjoyed it, and got tons of exercise and fresh air, too. So wonderful. I will only include a few of my favorite pics (including one I managed to get of myself with a handy railing and my camera's nifty timer which I had forgotten about.) Everything was so beautiful that I ended up taking over 60 pics! Too fun.

More on Montreal later!








BTW: Title Translation: "I do not speak French..."

Useless (But Fun) Trivia

This is for the "older" folks (not you generation Y-ers who aren't sure who Karen CARPENTER is--and you know who you are!) Can you identify where these sounds came from???

Quick! Get a torch!

Something's happening...but what?!

What did you say?

Uh oh...

Maybe this photo will help (3 moons?):

Splashed by Poseidon

We went to see the movie Poseidon tonight. It was full of action and great special effects, even if lacking a bit on plot and believability. VERY reminiscent of Titanic, but with a lot less emphasis on character development/social commentary.
(It is only half the length, and since they managed to get the great special effects in, I guess they had to cut something, right?) But it was entertaining, and I enjoyed it, so I guess it was okay. That's the point of a movie, right? To be entertained. Yes.

So, to hell with all of the critics harping about "credibility" and reality. I like to be entertained, taken out of the real world for 1.5 hours or so.

And this was a fun, entertaining movie. If I want to learn something, I'll watch the Discovery
Channel. If I want authenticity, I'll watch the History Channel. When I want great special effects larger than life and riveting entertainment, I'll go to the movies.

If you have a big-screen, fancy TV, you can rent this one. Otherwise, check it out at the theater where its BIG.
Poseidon Movie Trailer

My Professional, Scientific Opinion

Delusional parasitosis or Ekbom's Syndrome is a rare disorder in which sufferers hold a delusional belief they are infested with parasites. A related symptom involving a tactile hallucination of insects, snakes, or other vermin crawling over the skin is known as formication. The origin of this word is from the Latin formica, "ant".

It is not to be confused with Wittmaack-Ekbom or restless legs syndrome. Unfortunately, this is also referred to in short as "Ekbom's Syndrome" leaving the audience having to infer the particular meaning from the context. It is named after a Swedish neurologist, Karl Axel Ekbom, who published seminal accounts of the disease in 1937 and 1938.

The sufferer typically reports parasites to exist under the skin, around or inside body openings, in the stomach or bowels and may include a belief that the parasites infest the sufferer's home, surroundings or clothing.

Delusional parasitosis was described in medical literature as early as the 1800's. Up until the 1960's a variety of terms were used including: acaraphobia, dermatophobia, parasitophobia and entomophobia. Confusion caused by the use of all of these very different terms led to the syndrome .

The exact prevalence of this syndrome is unknown, although it is apparently rare to uncommon. It was renamed delusions of parasitosis, delusional infestation or delusions of infestation, following development of precise definitions of "phobia" = fear, and "delusion" = mistaken belief. It may occur in individuals of any age. However, there is a strong correlation with drug abuse.

The typical patient is a middle-aged or elderly woman. The female to male ratio is 2:1. Whether this frequency of women reported is a real number or the consequence of women being more likely to seek professional help is unknown. Younger patients tend to be white males, whose symptoms are usually caused by drug abuse, particularly methamphetamine and cocaine.


In younger women there are correlations between delusional parasitosis and:

• divorce with children
• drug abuse
• low or no income
• low self-esteem and feelings of social rejection
• alternate life styles
• stress, loneliness

Individuals suffering from delusional parasitosis:

• come from a variety of occupational and socioeconomic backgrounds
• are generally of average or above average intelligence
• hold reasonable views or reality
• generally lack a fear of insects

A person holding such a belief may approach doctors or dermatologists asking for treatment for the supposed infestation, and will often bring small particles, dust, skin flakes and other material for the doctor to inspect. Since the material may be carried in an envelope or matchbox, this presentation is known as the "matchbox sign."

Stimulant drug abuse (particularly amphetamine and cocaine) can lead to delusional parasitosis. For example, excessive cocaine use can lead to an effect nicknamed "cocaine bugs" where the affected person believes he has, or feels parasites crawling under his skin. These conditions are also associated with high fevers and extreme alcohol withdrawal, often associated with visual hallucinations of insects.

People suffering from these conditions may scratch themselves to the extent of serious skin damage and bleeding, especially if they are delirious or intoxicated.

The description above is from the University of California, Davis' website. Check it out for more detailed info such as diagnostic criteria, the sufferer's viewpoint, treatments, causes, etc. It's a great resource for information on this strange disorder.
UCDavis Delusional Parasitosis Website

Another great synopsis of the disorder:
Mayo Clinic Proceedings: Delusional Parasitosis

Professionally, I see this disorder on a regular basis. My supervisor, and Parasitology Lab Lead before me, assures me it is not as prevalent as it seems to be to us. Because of the nature of the disorder, patients often make their way up the "food-chain," if you will, from general practitioner, to regional hospital, to regional specialist, and eventually on to the Big Dogs (that's us,) looking for confirmation of their delusion. I have seen all sorts of "parasitic" junk: crumbs, every type and color of fiber imaginable, fingernail clippings, dirt, scabs, dried skin, entire jars filled with fresh skin peelings, mushrooms caps, julienned carrots, bean sprouts, jars filled with hair ripped out by the roots, whole grapes, and...,and...I could go on for pages listing the strange things that have passed under my dissecting microscope. It is puzzling and humorous, and sad and tragic. There was even a nuclear physicist once who tracked down our lab and begged to buy a textbook off of my very desk. I have a couple of letters from a desperate woman who watched "just opened" cake mix line up and march across her kitchen counter. These are intelligent people with very elaborate and detailed chronicles of the various organisms that they are "infested" with.

After web-researching Morgellon's Disease, it sounds exactly like Delusional Parasitosis as I know it with a new name. There are even names for this disorder when two or more people are involved in the delusional state. Mass hysteria in Texas? Hmmmm...

FYI: All of the organisms pictured above are REAL parasites (but the jury's still out on the last one from the X-Files.)

Morgellons Disease: Fact or Fiction?

So my friend Patty sent me this fascinating article on an "emerging?" disease called Morgellons Disease. Fascinating, and creepy, to say the least. Here's one description of the disease:

Travis Wilson developed Morgellons just over a year ago. He called his mother in to see a fiber coming out of a lesion.

"It looked like a piece of spaghetti was sticking out about a quarter to an eighth of an inch long and it was sticking out of his chest," Lisa Wilson said. "I tried to pull it as hard as I could out and I could not pull it out."

Another description:

“I would lay in the bed and it felt like an army of ants just crawling over the bed, all over my body,” says one Morgellons Disease sufferer.

“It never goes away,” says another. “It doesn't die, it doesn't leave.”

What sounds like a science fiction movie is actually real life for the unlucky people
who have contracted the disease which leaves painful sores all over the body.

The sores ooze blue fibers, white threads and little black specks of sand-like material.

The worst part, patients say, is the creepy and constant sensation of bugs crawling under their skin.

Photos of "Fibers" Found in Morgellons Skin Lesions

But is this for real? Check out the articles here and see what you think:

Brief Article on Morgellons

Another Brief Article on Morgellons and Possible Diagnoses

Afraid you might have Morgellons? Check out a list of the signs and symptoms and diagnose yourself like a good internet user here:
Six Signs of Morgellons Disease

After perusing articles, info, first person accounts, and photos, I HAVE formed a hypothesis of my own on this emerging disease. In the interest of unbiased consideration on your part, I'm going to offer my "professional," scientific opinion on this in my next post.

Link to the FANtastic article mentioned by Ms. Patty in her great comment below. It's good. Check it out.
Morgellons Article from the American Journal of Dermatology

More Rain Songs

So my post about good Rain Songs led us into deep conversation at work about ALL kinds of rain songs. Here's some honorable mentions in other categories:

2 We Could Live Without:
After the Rain (Nelson)

Blame It On the Rain (Milli Vanilli)

Too LOOONG Rain Song:
November Rain (Guns N Roses)

Darkest Rain Song:
Prayers for Rain (The Cure)

Weird 70s Funkadelic Rain Song:
It's Raining Men (Weather Girls)

"What the f*** is he saying?" Rain Song:
The Rain Song (Led Zeppelin)

Rain, Rain, Go Away...

It has been raining here for days and days. Seems like as long as I can remember. A week straight, maybe? I forget...But I'm sick of the rain. How am I supposed to plant anything or go for long walks around the neighborhood? Oh, well, the rain is good for all the plants and crops and our water tables, I'm sure.

In an effort to be positive, here are 5 good things that came of the rain:

My Favorite 5 Rain Songs:

Rainy Night in Georgia (Brook Benton)

Kentucky Rain (Elvis Presley)

Purple Rain (Prince)

Rainy Days and Mondays (Carpenters)

Here Comes the Rain Again (Eurythmics)

CATS are Neat

I love my kitty cats. The dog, well...not really the same, now, is it? Here's why I like cats:

• They use a bathroom just like we do, and it's out of sight until you clean it up (and you don't have to worry about stepping in it when you go to check on your flowers.)


• They clean themselves (no tub-wrestling and hair-clogged drain-cleaning required.)


• They do what they want (cattitude.)


• They love who they want to, and it's not everyone. (And if you're one of the chosen, it's that much more special.)


• They keep you company without getting in your way. (My little cat Jeri likes to watch me sweep the kitchen floor from a perch on the seat of a kitchen chair under the kitchen table, while the 80+ pound dog likes to sit on my feet and/or try to bite the vacuum cleaner with each push.)


• They're slyly mischievous, without causing any real harm. (i.e, the dog chews up a pack of crayons on the living room rug while the cat sneaks up onto the dresser to watch the fish in their tank.)


• They are soft and small and never smell bad. (Great for napping with!)


• They do not require regular trips back and forth during House or Bones or the middle of supper to let them outside.


• They require minimal amounts of routine maintenance (fill the food and water dishes once a day, vaccines every other year, as opposed to Heartgard monthly, claw clippings, fill the water 8 times a day, food twice a day at pre-determined times, etc, etc.)


• They do not cause a ruckus when the doorbell rings.


• They're tongues feel neat when they lick you, and you don't have drool dripping off you afterwards.

Well, I could go on, but the dog needs his breakfast

.

What I Planted Today

Purple Dragon Spotted Nettle

Lily of the Valley ( from my friend Sue, the avid gardener)

Marigolds (the 2-color kind because Kate "just liked them")

pink double Impatiens

Bleeding Heart (Dicentra)

Yellow Begonia

Purple and Red Fuchsia

Quotes I Try to Live By

I just wanted to share with you all some of my favorite quotes. I keep them over my sink, where I am reminded of their importance first thing in the morning and when frazzled by making dinner after a long day at work. They help to reel me back toward center when I have lost focus and begin to spiral into negativity. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves ... Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps, then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

-- Rainer Maria Rilke