Devil with a blue dress, blue dress...

Success! After much trial and tribulation, I have found the perfect blue dress for a devil with a blue dress on. I found it, was shell-shocked by the price on the tag, but decided to inquire and then press about the final price anyway (despite my natural inclination to avoid any possible contention.) I was much rewarded for my tenacity and courage by a $9.99 price for a $150 designer label dress. It's gorgeous, with layer after layer of silk and swing! Hooray! I'm very, very pleased with my dress...and even more excited that I doubled my great luck by buying two different $150 dresses for $9.99 each!

I shall undoubtedly be the most self-satisfied devil with a blue dress to venture out this Halloween. Surely the smug attitude will contribute character to my costume.

So, other than a night of running all about town for such a perfect dress(my feet feel like they will surely turn to globs of boneless, muscleless pulp,) I have accomplished nothing. and care not at all. Hooray, again!

We also finished K's costume, a quite fetching rendition (if I do say so myself) of Violet Baudelaire from the Series of Unfortunate Events books and movie. We did some modification on a pretty little gothic witch dress we bought at a costume shop, and one cut up pair of fishnets and red ribbon later--voila!--Violet Baudelaire! K is very pleased with herself in the costume, and parades around reenacting her favorite scenes from the books and movie. So cute! It does make me wonder, however, if the tendency toward Gothic taste might have a genetic factor. She's never seen me in Gothic attire--so how could she know? Hmmm....

Well, I should get some sleep and give my feet a little rest in preparation for tomorrow night's festivities. It gets late so quickly on me. Where does all the time go?

It's Halloween crunch time again. I have no costume, and we are going out tomorrow night. I hate this part. There's so much pressure to have a cute, clever costume, and to look good in it. Too much pressure. R's too picky, and has questionable, at best, taste as to what is funny and what is just plain creepy or weird. He doesn't like any of my ideas, but still I must come up with something good, and look good in it, too don't forget it.

I am toying with the idea of a devil with a blue dress. Clever, comfprtable, and still the possibility to look good. Now I must only find the perfect blue dress. Tonight. Before dessert and coffee at R's Mom's house. No sweat. No pressure. Ha.

I'll let you know what happens with the costume. I hope you aren't feeling the pressure of Halloween, too.

Banzai!

This is me going into battle. I am going to conquer some of the chaos and clutter around here today. Oh, and the dog hair piling up in the corners, too.

And go to the post office. And pay some bills. And work on K's Halloween costume. And make a pie for dinner with R's granmother and parents tonight. And do the laundry. And put together the new desk chair for the kitchen.

But first I have to get dressed because the electrician will be here soon to fix the porch lights.

But I can do all of this--because I'm a warrior, damn it.

Banzai!!!

A Moment of Silence for .....the Fish

One of my daughter's fish died sometime last night. I noticed this morning, but thankfully, she didn't. We made it through dinner, and then we "found" the dead fish together. She's really quite attached to her two fish, Sandy and Sarah. They're in all the drawings of our family.

So, we cleaned up the tank, flushed the dead fish, and said a word or two about what a good fish she was. K cried a bit, but seems to be feeling better now. We're going shopping for a new fish tomorrow night. That seems to help with the sorrow of losing a friend. I feel bad for K, but she took it quite well considering how attached she was to her little goldfish. Maybe we can find something good tomorrow.

This weekend was very busy with all of the wedding festivities of a friend. Seems like it was all gone in the blink of an eye. It was all very nice, actually. Not too much overdone, and we really did have a good time. Nice. But now I'm behind on all of the chores around here.
Tonight I did manage to get all the sheets changed and two loads of laundry done, though, in addition to the scouring of layers of algae for over an hour. Ack. That fish tank is the worst job ever. But K did help, and that makes quite the difference. Just more fun having company, I guess.

Anyway, I'm very tired, and it's only Tuesday! I'm desperate for a day off, or even just an afternoon, but I think the lab would shut down if I tried to take a few hours off. How can they be so dependent??? Everyone needs the ability to take a day off. What can I do? It's like I'm the foundation that holds all of the random pieces together. I never know who I might have working in there with me for any given hour. I need more stability, predictability, if just so I can take a damn day off! Ack.

~sigh~ I'm tired and should just go to bed. Maybe I can figure this out tomorrow morning in the shower. I get all of my best brainstorm ideas in the shower first thing in the morning. :)
Well, rest in peace, Sandy the Fish. We'll miss you!

Positivity

I'm feeling better. Sort of. Exhausted. I think I need to just sleep this one off. Can't believe I have to get up and do this all over again tomorrow. Can I? Does it matter if I can't?

~sigh~

I need to stop this endless litany in my head. Switch gears. Change colors.

Positive things. Positive.

I am slowly but surely mastering HTML. Still struggling a bit, but getting there, getting better. That's good.

Identified that as-of-yet-unidentified worm: Moniliformis moniliformis. Took a picture of the egg I smushed from it. It's a pretty egg, although a bit tore up (took a lot of smushing.) Pretty rare parasite in humans, really. Exciting to see something new, and helped a sick child to boot. That's positive.

Got the wood floors clean. That's positive.

Do didn't destroy anything (that I know of) today. That's positive.

And on that note, I think I'll attempt to sleep the rest of this funk off tonight. Tomorrow's a new day.

Breathe...........

I am so enraged. Overwhelmed. Exhausted. What am I to do with all of this disaster? Too much, all of it. Who can do everything for everyone? No one...no one. It's here at home, it's
there at work. Nothing's ever enough. Nothing's good enough. I feel like I'm working my fingers to the bone, wearing my soul away to a tiny ember. I need to let it all go...all the sleights, every abandonment, every assumption. They are all fools. Do they all think I will always be here? Always with my back against the wall, holding it up, holding on? They think I can do it, I will do it. I have all the answers. But no one can, no one will, no one does forever.

I need to just breathe. Let it go. Relax. Just another deep breath. Close my eyes and feel the clean air fill my lungs, clean out the bitterness, the fatigue. Wash it away. Listen to the sweet, sorrowful voice of Sade. Breathe.

"It's just a day that brings it all about.
Just another day.
Nothing's any good.
I have so much to do.
I have to carry on.
I wonder will this grief ever be gone?
Will it ever go?
I'm the King of Sorrow.
King of Sorrow.

I suppose I could just walk away
Will I disappoint my future if I stay?
It's just a day that brings it all about.
Just another day.
Nothing's any good.
I feel like the King of Sorrow.
King of Sorrow.

I'm crying everyone's tears.
I have already paid for all my future sins
There's nothing anyone can say to take this away
It's just another day.
Nothing's any good.
I am the King of Sorrow.
King of Sorrow."
--Sade

Here's a lovely picture of the Colorado Rockies. I go there in my mind when I think I will break. It is so beautiful there. So big. It helps me to realize how small I am, how microscopic the slights, the wrongs, the worries. Standing in the middle of the Rocky Mountains gives one a better perspective on life. It's not so bad, whatever has you by its grip, not so bad. Thought I'd share the image with you, whoever you are. Maybe it can help you to breathe more deeply, too, wherever you are.

Hound From ...

I took a picture of him. See? Even his eyes glow! ;)

Corpse Bride Left Me at the Altar

We just got back from the Corpse Bride. There were some cute parts, but overall it was quite disappointing. I'm a big Nightmare Before Christmas fan, so I was really expecting more. Nice imagery, if you love that dead, gore stuff. Personally, I just can't get enough. :) Guess I was born to be Goth--although I do consider myself to be a recovering one. I do wear color quite a bit now (I even recently embraced pink,) much to my mother's relief.
But the movie, yes, kind of weak on the plot. Left me wanting more.

The dog only destroyed a stack of napkins while we were out. This is considered to be a successful outing since nothing costly was destroyed. How sad is that? What on earth did I deserve to be tormented by this Hellhound, as my father lovingly calls him. I hate the dog. I really do. But I just feel so sorry for him, I guess. Is he really so dumb? So needy? I am fascinated by the possible answers to these questions and simultaneously disgusted by the need to ask them.

~sigh~

Anyway, I am engrossed by the puzzle of HTML at the moment, and all housework that should have been done this weekend has fallen by the wayside. Thus I start another week behind. Alas, is there no end to the burden of living with other people? Ha. We all know the answer to that one, I think.

OMG!

The crazy dog ruined our wonderful Friday night supper out by destroying another pair of shoes and a plastic bag (not to be missed, but the biggest mess--trust me.) I'm so tired of the endless work involved with this dog! I could scream.

Another busy day at work. Weird as-0f-yet-unidentifiable worm, more understaffing, and bedbugs. At least it's Friday night and I know I can lounge around in my jammies for hours tomorrow morning surfing the net, reading, and drinking too much coffee.

I ate way too much and can't think much just now. Will write more later.