Funny Car Accident Reports & Strange Signs

Something light and easy--just for fun.

Accident insurance claim forms ask for a brief statement about how the accident happened. The combination of the finger pointing instinct and the small spaces provided on the forms can lead to some curiously phrased explanations. Such as...

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.""Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

"No one was to blame for the accident, but it never would have happened if the other driver had been alert."

"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."

"I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car."

"I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."

"I was taking my canary to the hospital. It got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I saw was his rear end, and there was a crash."

"I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it was struck by the other car in the same place where it had been struck several times before."

"The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."

"The accident happened when the right door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal."

"I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."

"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull."

"My wench slipped, losing my balance, and I hurt my back."

"I was unable to stop in time, and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."

"When I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."

"As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident."

"The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end."

"A truck backed though my windshield and into my wife's face."

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment."

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished."